Melissa Maria Fragomeni writes...



Looking Beyond

To look beyond to a future filled with peace and compassion, we must first look within ourselves. The ability to look beyond our own feelings and needs is developed by our ability to look within ourselves, and translate what we find to the people and situations that surround us. Looking beyond ourselves is made possible by looking within and (hopefully) using what we discover to understand and help others.

We as a society tend to treat ourselves with scant amounts of compassion and little consideration, and we govern ourselves with limited rein and a heaping dose of criticism. How we treat ourselves is reflected back in the world around us. Because personal view colors the picture of the world that we see and experience, it doesn’t come as a surprise when we continually see other people that don’t seem to express the compassion that we starve ourselves of.  Still, we expect others to treat us the way we want to be treated and hold them to standards of respect that we don’t show ourselves. The paradox of our outer world mirroring the status of our inner world isn’t only a conflict, though. If the world around us reflects the world we have within us, this reflection can be a powerful solution. A solution is possible because looking within is the key to looking beyond. To look beyond to a future filled with compassion and grace means to start with ourselves, and consciously create the change we wish to see in our lives and in the world around us.

Why does it feel so hard to create positive change? Probably because we are missing that critical ingredient called grace. Grace is what helps us create space within ourselves, acting as buffer between us and our thoughts, our actions, and even other people. Grace is almost like a buffer between us and potential conflict. Grace gives us the space needed to take a step back; to take the biased way we perceive the world, and look at the big picture. Grace allows us to look more objectively, or at the very least, more positively, at the situation presented before us. Grace gives us the opportunity to gain a fresh perspective in regards to what we need and even what we want. This extends to the support we need and want from ourselves and others, the space we need and want to think clearly, and the goals we need and want to achieve in our lives. We don’t have to try hard to generate grace and we don’t have to look too far. We already have limitless grace inside us that we need to learn to tap into. Looking beyond to me means looking within ourselves, cultivating grace consciously, being aware of where we are being unkind and lacking compassion towards ourselves.

Before we can have a future to look forward to, we need to cultivate the seeds of grace right now - within ourselves - and lead benevolently by example. When we are conscious of what needs our attention, we can give ourselves the support we need to feed our own personal needs. With our needs being met, we are more able to look kindly on others and let our compassion and grace rise up to the surface and give back to the world.

Conscious grace is a term I put together to emphasize how much consciousness plays a huge part in cultivating and practicing grace. As we consciously cultivate grace, we consciously allow ourselves to spread grace to others. Just as a smile is contagious, seeing examples of compassion and grace given in everyday situations will give us permission to do the same. Little by little, we become a society filled with compassion and goodwill towards humanity - one that is emboldened through action to do good and serve others rather than being ruled by greed, anger, and selfishness.

The world will reap what we sow today, within ourselves. When we practice conscious grace, it gives others permission to follow our lead. Only then can we look beyond to a future filled with grace, compassion, and peace.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never underestimate your power to change others.” - H. Jackson Brown, Jr


About the Author:

Melissa Maria Fragomeni is a coach and mentor who helps big-hearted dreamers embrace grace and self-love to achieve limitless success in life and business. She also supports clients' hearts and businesses through virtual assistance services. Melissa is on a mission to teach women to tap into the grace they already have so they can achieve their goals and live lives they love while also stepping into courage to be impact-makers and world-changers. Melissa obtained her master's degree in psychology from Adelphi University and her Mind-Body Eating Coaching Certification from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. She currently lives in New York.



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