Defining Your YES In Life by Looking Beyond Your Circumstances.
Do you ever look at people who inspire you, and wonder “How did they do that?”
Whether it’s a successful CEO on the cover of FORBES magazine, or a rags-to-riches story of a small-town girl going from in-debt to millionaire- it can make you wonder what the big difference is between you, and them right?
The answer is, not much. Except for a few key practices I’m going to share with you in this article.
See, I had the exact same question. I made it my mission to find the answer.
I was in my 20’s and working in a job that had me feeling like a complete failure, living in a teeny apartment with little light in a sketchy area of Toronto.
Years earlier, I had big dreams of getting into fashion styling. But a lack of paying jobs, people seeing my creative endeavor as a hobby, and sadly no plan B when financial times got tough, that dream fell to the wayside.
Instead I was hustling as a shopgirl to make ends meet. I felt like my creativity that used to flow through me so effortlessly was pouring out of my fingertips and wasted with every sweater I folded.
The thing was, there were so many people around me who were just like me.
They had big dreams of becoming an entrepreneur, an artist, of living out their dreams- but the feeling of lack of resources, time and know-how stopped the talented, smart and ambitious people who were in my circle before they got started.
Until finally I had my breaking moment. After years of job hunting, to no avail I realized that if the opportunities I wanted were going to come into my life, I was going to have to create them.
And so I looked beyond my current circumstances and created my dream life out of thin air.
I started my blog, and reached out to people who inspired me, who turned ‘no’s’ into ‘yeses’ and their dreams into a reality. Many of which started from zero.
Through interviewing these success stories, I realized that those people who had built empires, inspired thousands, and were speaking on stages were no different than you or me.
Many of them started with nothing.
But they decided that fear was not going to stop them. They let their beliefs become bigger than their circumstances and in a world where we’re all getting constantly bombarded with distractions, they were willing to put in the focus and determination to make it happen.
Here are some of the biggest lessons I learned from those who looked beyond their circumstances, overcame their obstacles and created their own YES in life.
Turning Success Into A Habit
Wonder how some people can jump out of bed and head to the gym, while others press snooze a dozen times and zombie-crawl to the coffee machine?
The difference is in their habits.
If you’re trying to shift your life, and you’re only using conscious decisions- it’s going to be an uphill battle. Your conscious mind powers less than 1% of your decisions, the rest is powered by your subconscious mind and it’s all based on the habits and unconscious practices that your body is doing for you around the clock- like keeping your heart beating, and making sure you order ‘the reg’ at your local haunt.
So in order to be effortlessly successful, simply take on the actions that successful people take and turn it into your habits.
That way, instead of feeling like you’re forcing the shifts, it seems to be a part of who you are.
Map out what you would do, and which actions you would take if you were already living your dream life, and start to implement them into your day. If you can keep it up for 21 days + your neural pathways will start to re-program and that behaviour that used to be tough to master will now be an effortless process.
Think about it like how you learned how to walk, ride a bike or drive a car. It was a constant effort to gain momentum when you took your first step, or pushed the gas pedal for the first time, but now it’s effortless and you don’t have to think about putting one foot in front of the other.
Shifting Your Identity
No, I don’t mean becoming something you’re not. Instead, I mean become everything you are.
How many times have you decided not to speak your opinion, or minimized one of your accomplishments because you didn’t want to be ‘a brag’ or shine your light too much?
We all do it, but it can hurt us and our ability to perform in the long run.
Your identity and how you see yourself is a critical factor in the actions you take. If you see yourself as successful, and willing to take on any obstacle that comes your way, you’ll be more likely to go after that job you want, or take a risk on starting your dream business.
You’ll easily stretch the container that most people live their entire lives within.
If you minimize your every move, you’re projecting that you see yourself as small and unworthy. You create an identity for yourself that you’re ‘average’ and thus, you’ll make average decisions for yourself.
But, we both know you’re so much more than that. It’s okay to toot your own horn, it’s okay to see yourself as excellent. You are ALLOWED to put the work in and absolutely smash it in a project, and when people praise you- don’t deflect the compliment- take it in.
Because when you see yourself as a light, a leader, and a changemaker- you act like that.
And the beautiful thing is, when you fully shine your own light you inspire others to shine theirs as well.
You make it safe for people to live up to their own potential and strive for more. As I started to reach my own goals, I saw the people around me grow and see their own light too. By becoming the shiniest version of myself, I created a safe space for people to chase their dreams and be brighter too.
Seek Your Own Approval, Rather Than Others
I spent most of my teenage years living in a very abusive household. My mom was with someone who was negative, condescending and abusive.
I’d be called names for mundane things like taking a shower for too long, or leaving a cereal box open.
For many years after that, my self-esteem suffered. I never felt good enough. The only opinion that seemed to exist was other people’s opinion of me.
I remember gaining weight on purpose after being made fun of for being too skinny- only for a few years later to strive for a size 0 to meet society’s and the fashion industry’s ideal of beauty.
I never felt enough, and because that was how I felt on the inside- that poured to my external life where I was not respected, or seen as valuable.
My inner world was a direct reflection of my external experiences.
It wasn’t until I started to ask myself “Instead of wondering what other people think of me, what do I think of me?” that my life started to shift.
I started to do the things that made me happy. I took bets on myself, and my success, income, and self-love skyrocketed.
Now I know that my opinion of myself needs to take precedence over other’s opinion of me if I want to be happy and fulfilled. If I am taking the actions that leave me feeling fulfilled, like I am on the path to my life’s purpose and I am doing work I am proud of, then I know that energy will extend outside of me and my outer world will be just as fluid and peaceful as my inner world.
Looking Beyond Your Current Reality, and Existing In The One You Want Instead
This may be the hardest step for you to comprehend, but it is the most important.
See, the life you are living now is a manifestation of your beliefs leading up to it.
Meaning, when I was unhappy with my job, it was 100% my own fault, because I applied for that job, and I continued to work there. And deep down within my beliefs, without even realizing my own self-sabotage, I felt like that was the best I could get.
Even though I wanted more, I hadn’t set my sights on any particular outcome, and that is why I stayed.
Even when I leapt for other business ideas, and thought I was doing everything I could, I was falling short. I wasn’t putting myself out there. I wasn’t speaking my desires and wants into reality. I wasn’t seeing my dreams through to completion. I wasn’t seeing myself as the person I could one day become.
In order to make my YES in life manifest into my physical reality, I had to see beyond where I currently was, I had to master my own yes.
I had to decide what it was I truly wanted, to see it clearly in my mind, and I had to work up the faith, hope and love in order to go for it 100% and know the outcome I wanted would be attracted to me.
It’s wild to me now, that the life I am currently living is the one that was beyond my wildest dreams just a few short years ago.
I’ve created a life where work and play overlap so fluidly, it all feels like I’m fulfilling my highest purpose. I’ve been able to meet the people who inspire me most in the world, travel to incredible destinations, host retreats and events to inspire others to create their yes, and create freedom in my life. As a free spirit, it’s a necessity to choose how I spend my days, and have the option to work when I’m energized and rest when I want to. I also get to massively impact and change people’s lives on a daily basis, and nothing feels better.
So today, I encourage you to remember that you are powerful.
That everything you need to be successful, happy and free is already within you, and that in order to make the life you want manifest, I urge you to look beyond the reality you currently see to discover what it is you truly want in this life.
Search. You will find it. It’s already in you, and it’s the option that feels good.
And when you have pinpointed it- ask for it wholeheartedly and only take yes for an answer.
About the Author:
Reese Evans is passionate about helping females discover and tap into the power of their own mind and inner energy to empower themselves to create the life they're meant to live- their own yes. She is a certified success coach, Reiki energy practitioner, NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner, and believes you can create anything you want through shifting yourself into the energy of happiness and love and using daily self-empowerment habits that help you achieve your highest potential effortlessly.
Online Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/165879560437340/