Looking Beyond Forgiveness
For me, 2017 was the year I was supposed to forgive those who I felt wronged by. Those dark feelings felt like extra weight I was carrying around, that was no longer mine to carry. It was time to off load. I practiced mantras, visualization, meditation, and many others methods to release baggage that was no longer serving me. I had decided this was going to be the year I soar and forgiving or releasing pain from my past was the best way to step into the person I know I was always meant to be.
Fast forward to January 2018. I’ve been in India for the past month, rediscovering beauty, compassion, and kindness of the human spirit. As I’m getting dressed one peaceful morning in Goa after a cold bucket shower, I had a sudden realization: trying to alone, to forgive someone, doesn't work. However, focusing on improving my own level of happiness and contentment dissolves the anger and resentment - leading me to forgiveness. Let me explain.
Every time I was completing an exercise to forgive someone, my awareness was brought back to the incident and the person. Naturally, unpleasant emotions resurfaced. As my Reiki teacher pointed out, I was analyzing the situation, re-creating a negative reaction in my nervous system, therefore making it harder to let go and forgive.
As the saying goes: “What you focus on, expands.” I’ve realized the forgiving and letting go process that’s vital to progressing in every aspect of our lives has multiple steps. First, you recognize your emotion. Don’t stay here too long. Just long enough to recognize why (the root cause) you’re upset. Yes, it’s important to change the tape playing in our minds about the person or incident, however that should only be 25% of the expended energy. We have the ability to change our thoughts. Anytime, you feel anger rising, tell your brain to stop! It will. Send the event love and positive energy; and move on from that moment.
The main focus should be finding what lifts you higher than the incident that occurred. What makes you feel so fulfilled and at peace at your core? I believe it is that past events no longer affect your present. Because your present is so beautiful. What will elevate you so high, that anything below that frequency no longer matters? Again, what you focus on, expands.
As I continue my journey in 2018, I promise myself to focus on jobs, relationships, and thoughts that uplift me. I promise to build a work ethic so strong that incidents and individuals that I’ve felt hurt by no longer matter. I promise an unwavering focus on the overflowing abundance already in my life. The forgiveness will take care of itself.
About the Author:
Jalpa Dhaduk is a Certified Nutrition Coach and Occupational Therapist. After working as an Occupational Therapist for 6 years, Jalpa realized addressing only the symptoms wasn't healing patients. Realizing preventive medicine was the only way patients will experience long term effects, she completed Nutrition school to help clients prevent chronic illnesses via food and lifestyle modification. Now, she combines her background in science and western medicine with holistic nutrition to coach clients to discover healthier versions of their favorite foods, while guiding them through behavior modification; leading them to happy and fulfilled lives.